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"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."
"My boyfriend and I live together, which means we don't have sex - ever. Now that the milk is free, we've both become lactose intolerant."
"You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is."
"I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it."